say hi to growing up

my friend told me over lunch the other day
that you get a better understanding of yourself
and all of the little confusing things of your past
comes more in a clear sense in your early 20's

its been quite true, in my late teens i was quite
confused about couple things
like
still im abit confused but slowly
i am getting a broader view of what actually
happened or things that i have, and what things actually are

and moved on, no hate, no self pity , forgive and forget

im in heaven and im in hell

alot of the times, this kind of job, damages people.

but for me,

ironically it gave me time to think about myself alot. (since all the wait and things)

i told myself, from beginning to spend time nicely, spend time wisely.

also fame, comes and goes.

i just wanted to go away.


i grew up with alot of things.

but i have nothing to go back to.

im not korean, im not english, im not singaporean, im not european. im not american.

no hometown to be stuck to.

i wonder. where is my home.

even before this job, i was always wondering.

i was such a lonely child

now my friends comfort me by telling me,

that i can make my own new home now, as i am free.



i am in heaven i am in hell.